Josef Hader

HADER ON ICE "There's always something. Either my feet fall asleep. Or they itch. Then I can't breathe again when I walk faster. Or I have a hot flash. Then I get cold again. Food doesn't taste good anymore, sex is boring, my pants are too tight. What is this, please? - This must all be this climate change, right? Temperatures in summer are like in the tropics! Because of that, suddenly there are these giant insects! They didn't exist before! If they sting you, you get a swelling that doesn't go away for months! They're probably all genetically modified. And the plants! They're going nuts now too. They're crazy, the plants! They're growing over everything now! Since I don't leave the house anymore. My theory is, the plants want to take back control of the planet. They're all connected underground through their roots. Worldwide! The plants have a secret plan. They want the total destruction of Western culture and Austrian folk rock 'n' roll. All that is supposed to be replaced by, uh, photosynthesis."